Today is his birthday. My dad. It has been almost a full year since his passing and this day has been a hard one to really come to grasp with. This is the first birthday that I have to think of him in the past tense.
Though in years past I would still feel bad that I might not be with him on his birthday due to schedule, time, or distance, I would still think of him knowing that he was enjoying his day. I would be able to think of him, close my eyes to wonder, and imagine him having a party with cake and candles being shared with the house nurses and mates. They would be holding the party in lockdown as only alzheimer patients and elderly people can. Beast mode.
Today. Today I am kind of not sure where to place my thoughts. My dad is in a gray 8″x8″x6″ box that is neatly packaged in purple funeral home bag…positioned just in sight when you walk into my recording studio/office. He is not here in the physical world. He is not tossing back chocolate cupcakes with thick frosting. He is not getting the frosting all over his face and smearing it to the limits of his ears. He is not trying to blow out candles with a hurricane force wind effort that really comes out like a whisper. He is just not…
Today he would have been 62 if my failing memory serves me correctly. 28 years in a state that took him from a champion to a puppet is no gift.
You finally got a great present…to be free.
Happy birthday dad. I miss you.
